so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
