Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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