im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
