you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
