I wish I could teleport
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
