But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Semen is not good for contacts.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
