oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
