the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
