Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
