dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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