I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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