he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
