he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
