my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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