you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
