Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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