he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
