That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
