I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
