So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
