I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
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If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
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I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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