Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I believe in your delicious
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
