Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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