So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Randomize
