Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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