i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
jump out the window naked night went bad
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
