Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
