Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize