the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Randomize
