Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
