i always forget guys have bellybuttons
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
