You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
