I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
