her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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