I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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