I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize