In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'm at about main and main street
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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