you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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