Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
