Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
