I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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