he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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