Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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