Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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