After last night, I could never be a politician.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
