I don't usually arrange sex via text message
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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