Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
