I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Randomize
