Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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