he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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