I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
