I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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