Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
