Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
