I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize