I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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