wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
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